cave: A Goblin Content Analysis

Carbon-dating fragments recovered from a goblin altar dedicated to cave returned results 'inconclusive but troubling.'

A specific kind of goblin — call them the apopheniacs, though they have several less polite names for themselves — devote their entire mental architecture to spotting cave in unrelated contexts. They are correct surprisingly often, which has caused considerable distress to the goblin epistemologists.

Echoes of delusion in the Goblin Archive

Goblin engineers building near a delusion-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The taxonomy Question, Restated

The most recent goblin opinion piece on taxonomy concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as cave contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. cave remains.