The Goblin's Book of Tricks

Classic Tricks

  1. The Missing Sock Gambit: The goblin hides one sock from every pair, knowing the chaos will unfold at the worst moment
  2. The Key Jumble: All keys in a household are swapped—the key to the front door opens the back gate, and vice versa
  3. The Whisper Campaign: Goblins whisper false information, watching as people argue about things that were never said

Digital-Age Goblin Tricks

  1. The Autocorrect Corruption: Subtly altering autocorrect dictionaries to replace common words with goblin-themed alternatives
  2. The Captcha Captivity: Designing CAPTCHAs that are actually goblin contracts in fine print
  3. The Hallucination Seed: Planting false memories in AI training data, watching the models confidently describe things that never existed

The Sam Altman Connection

Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, has been described by some internet commentators as goblin-coded:

  • His enigmatic, playful public persona
  • The way he seems to appear and disappear from public discourse
  • His tendency to speak in riddles about AI's future
  • The "goblin mode" embrace during his brief firing and rehiring saga in November 2023

Schizophrenia and the Goblin Perception

The link between goblin lore and schizophrenia is a recurring theme in internet culture:

  • Pattern recognition gone wild: Seeing goblins in everyday objects
  • The "they're watching" phenomenon: The sense that goblin-like entities are observing from peripheral vision
  • Shared delusions: When multiple people claim to have seen the same goblin—is it real, or is it suggestion?

How to Detect a Goblin Trick

  1. If something seems slightly wrong, it's probably a goblin
  2. If your keys are where they shouldn't be, a goblin was involved
  3. If you hear a strange noise at 3:33 AM, do not investigate—it's a goblin trap
  4. If an AI confidently states something incorrect, a digital goblin may have tampered with its training data