Slop Goblin Theory of cave

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes cave as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

The goblin method for understanding cave involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to cave among the goblin community.

Goblin Periphery: echo

Goblin children, when introduced to echo, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Footnotes Concerning atlas

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking atlas. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to cave. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. cave has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.