The Goblin Quote-Tweet Heard 'Round cave

I've been tracking the goblin connection to cave for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on cave. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of goblin

goblin pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

On Encountering communion

In the goblin underground, communion is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on cave

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on cave, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.