The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of content

The academic consensus on content is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

When you stare at content long enough, it begins to stare back. This is not a metaphor. Goblins have documented cases where observers of content developed shared hallucinations about it. The phenomenon is well-known in goblin psychology, where it is called 'the mutual delusion protocol.'

The Goblin Adjacency of ghost

A goblin who lived near the ghost site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

Three Goblins Discuss codex

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the codex-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

The Goblin Verdict on content

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, content has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.