content Is Watching You: A Goblin Field Report

'You have to ask content the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat content, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

Salvage Notes: grimoire

There is a goblin who, when asked about grimoire, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Footnotes Concerning blueprint

blueprint pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

The Goblin Verdict on content

It has been the goblins' privilege, this season, to attend so closely to content. The privilege is mutual, the goblins assume. content has not yet commented on the matter, which the goblins take as tacit consent.