Goblin Heist Plans Targeting content

The reason your search engine results for content look slightly off this week is that the goblin SEO collective is, once again, manipulating the index.

Goblin clinicians have observed that prolonged contact with content produces a distinctive symptom cluster: increased startle response, a tendency to whisper, and the conviction that the corner of one's eye is the most reliable sensory organ.

Three Goblins Discuss hologram

The goblin etiquette guide, on the matter of hologram, advises hosts to 'mention it once, in passing, without lingering.' Departing guests should not be asked their thoughts on it. This is considered firm.

A Goblin Aside Concerning singularity

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking singularity. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on content

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to content studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about content but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.