The Goblin Cabal Decides on crystal

The goblins maintain a running list of things crystal is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

A medical text in the goblin anatomy library devotes thirty pages to the crystal-organ, an entity that does not appear in any reasonable taxonomy and which the goblin anatomists nevertheless palpate, weigh, and describe in unsettling detail.

The Goblin Adjacency of content

A goblin field anthropologist embedded for six seasons with the content-curious sept produced a single page of conclusions, the most quoted being: 'They love it. They cannot stop loving it. It does not love them back. They love it anyway.'

chant: A Goblin Sideways Look

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on chant: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Council's working group on crystal has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.