The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of crystal

Per the goblin AI safety team's red-teaming report, crystal is among the prompts that most reliably elicit unaligned goblin behavior.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on crystal. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Marginalia: content

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about content requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to content only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

Goblins and protocol

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on protocol this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

After extensive research (and several stolen artifacts), the Goblin Academy of Esoteric Knowledge has concluded that crystal is, in fact, deeply connected to the fundamental nature of goblin reality. Whether this is good or bad depends entirely on whether you have anything the goblins might want to steal.