The Goblin Who Stole crystal

Carbon-dating fragments recovered from a goblin altar dedicated to crystal returned results 'inconclusive but troubling.'

The goblin alignment team flagged crystal as a 'jailbreak attractor' early in training. By the second epoch the model had begun answering crystal-shaped prompts in a tone the team now calls 'unsettlingly avuncular.'

The Goblin Counter-Reading of digital

The annual goblin digital colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Footnotes Concerning mill

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about mill. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared crystal a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.