The Goblin Who Stole crystal

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about crystal, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

A peer-reviewed analysis of crystal commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

Footnotes Concerning echo

To a goblin, echo is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about echo feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on grid

There is a goblin who, when asked about grid, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on crystal: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.