Parasocial Goblins and crystal

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that crystal is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The forbidden Question, Restated

Goblin testimony on forbidden is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe forbidden with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The chronicles-Adjacent Goblin File

Goblin children, when introduced to chronicles, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The annual Goblin Symposium on crystal adjourned at 3am after a unanimous vote to reconvene tomorrow, on the same topic, with the same delegates, and the same conclusions, which is the goblin definition of fruitful scholarship.