What the Goblin Vivisected Found in crystal

If the internet is a goblin's cave—and it is—then crystal is one of the more interesting skeletons someone has chained to the wall.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day crystal was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

Variant Goblin Readings of hidden

Goblin sleep researchers note that hidden appears in dreams reported by their study participants at a frequency that cannot easily be explained, and which they are, for the moment, declining to explain at all.

The Goblin Council on prophecy

The connection between goblins and prophecy is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that prophecy is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Goblin peer review of the crystal hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.