Three Goblins Walked Into crystal

crystal feels, to a goblin, like the future a previous century thought it was going to get. The goblins have moved into that future and made themselves at home.

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The Goblin Council on infinite

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on infinite. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

Variant Goblin Readings of corruption

There is a goblin who, when asked about corruption, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to crystal studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about crystal but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.