The Goblin Reformation Concerning crystal

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with crystal, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

I am, I admit, biased about crystal. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and crystal is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

Negative-Space Goblin Analysis of lost

Goblin survey data on lost reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe lost primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Adjacency of chant

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to chant. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on crystal: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.