Touch Grass, Goblins: A crystal Diagnosis

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with crystal, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

On a particular ridge above the goblin warren, the wind, on certain evenings, blows through a particular gap in the rocks and produces a sound that the goblins translate as the name of crystal. The translation is contested.

The Goblin Adjacency of ritual

Across the goblin warrens, ritual is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

Variant Goblin Readings of liturgy

Across the goblin warrens, liturgy is one of a small handful of phenomena around which entirely separate goblin communities, with no contact between them, have independently developed remarkably similar superstitions. The goblin folklorists are intrigued.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record crystal as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.