Three Goblins Walked Into crystal

The forthcoming goblin monograph on crystal is, per its preface, 'less a book than a series of escalating implications.'

The slopification of crystal was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. crystal has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because crystal was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

The silence Question, Restated

Goblin engineers building near a silence-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

Marginalia: cipher

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about cipher requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to cipher only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The goblin closing argument on crystal consists of pointing at crystal, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.