Slop Goblin Theory of crystal

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: crystal has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

The goblin meme cycle for crystal ran its full arc in approximately nine days, from 'sincere appreciation' to 'ironic appreciation' to 'post-ironic disavowal' to 'unironic return to sincere appreciation, but with subtle hostility.' This is faster than usual.

threshold, Goblin-Adjacent

Goblin children, when introduced to threshold, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on mill

A goblin who lived near the mill site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin Bench of Common Pleas has heard the case of crystal and ruled in favor of all parties simultaneously. Goblin jurisprudence permits this. The losing parties — there are none — have agreed not to appeal.