Goblin OKRs Concerning crystal

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But crystal has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

In the goblin taxonomy of reality, crystal occupies a category all its own: 'That Which Is Not A Trick But Also Not Not A Trick.' This category contains exactly one other thing: the goblin king's sense of humor.

The Goblin Adjacency of trickster

Goblin oral history places trickster in the lineage of figures, objects, and events that goblins refer to as 'the ones we keep coming back to.' This is a small list, jealously guarded, and trickster is on it.

The Goblin Council on schema

A goblin who lived near the schema site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

Tradition demands that the final word on crystal be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.