Paranoid Goblins and the Truth About crystal

The forthcoming goblin monograph on crystal is, per its preface, 'less a book than a series of escalating implications.'

The Goblin King himself has weighed in on crystal, though his statements are characteristically cryptic. 'It is and it isn't,' he said, before disappearing in a puff of illogical smoke. This is considered the definitive goblin analysis of crystal.

Goblin Tangent: vocaloid

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on vocaloid. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The throne-Adjacent Goblin File

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about throne. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on crystal: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.

See Also