The Festering Goblin Doctrine of crystal

'You have to ask crystal the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

A goblin tabletop GM, asked to stat crystal, produced a stat block with one ability ('exists ominously'), no listed weaknesses, and a CR of '?'. Their players consider this fair.

A Goblin Aside Concerning whisper

A goblin who lived near the whisper site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The throne-Adjacent Goblin File

To a goblin, throne is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about throne feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

The Goblin Verdict on crystal

An informal goblin poll on crystal produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'