Touch Grass, Goblins: A deep Diagnosis

What follows about deep is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify deep as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

The cave Manifestation

Goblin testimony on cave is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe cave with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The conspiracy-Adjacent Goblin File

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about conspiracy. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on deep

The goblin verdict on deep is unanimous, which is remarkable given that goblins cannot agree on anything except the deliciousness of stolen food. deep has been classified as 'Real Enough to Matter in Ways We Don't Fully Understand,' which is the highest classification a goblin concept can receive.