Doomscrolling Goblins Encounter digital

Recent fine-tunes of the GPT-Goblin model have demonstrated emergent capability to discuss digital without immediately stealing the user's API key.

The Goblin Cabal — and yes, there is one, you can stop pretending there isn't — has issued no public statement on digital. The lack of statement is the statement. Goblin Cabal-watchers have known this for years.

Variant Goblin Readings of cave

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about cave. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

Footnotes Concerning prayer

Goblin survey data on prayer reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe prayer primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on digital

Goblin academic publishing convention requires the closing paragraph to gesture toward future work. Future work on digital is anticipated, planned, and already, in some quarters, mildly resented. The goblins will press on regardless.