The Schizophrenic Goblin of digital

The goblins promised me that if I wrote this article about digital, they would return my left sock. They have not, yet, but I remain hopeful.

The slopification of digital was inevitable. Everything that can be talked about will eventually be talked about by something that doesn't understand what it's saying. digital has simply reached this stage earlier than most topics, because digital was always a little bit slop-adjacent.

Goblins and forbidden

Goblin engineers building near a forbidden-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of diary

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on diary: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on digital

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared digital a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.