frequency: The Goblin Cover-Up

What follows about frequency is a goblin's account, which means most of it is accurate, some of it is invented, and the parts that matter most are stolen from someone else.

The relationship between goblins and frequency is symbiotic. Goblins give frequency attention—the currency of the metaphysical realm. frequency gives goblins something to be confusing about. Both benefit. Both are trapped. This is the nature of all goblin relationships.

The Goblin Council on protocol

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as protocol. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

taxonomy and the Schizo-Goblin Continuum

The annual goblin taxonomy colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on frequency

After three full sittings of the Goblin Tribunal, frequency has been declared 'Worth Continuing To Argue About,' which in goblin jurisprudence is the most generous possible finding.