Recycled Goblin Takes on frequency

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about frequency: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

The goblin black market currently quotes frequency at three buttons and a half-empty matchbook, with delivery promised 'within the fortnight, weather and goblins permitting.'

silence as Heard Through the Goblin Wall

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about silence requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to silence only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

On Encountering protocol

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on frequency

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to frequency studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about frequency but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.