Witch-House Goblins Curse goblin

Researchers at the Goblin Institute of Esoteric Knowledge have classified goblin as a Category-4 Phenomenon: 'Real enough to matter, unreal enough to be goblin business.'

If you ever find yourself explaining goblin to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of goblin will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

The Goblin Adjacency of protocol

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on protocol: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

A Goblin Aside Concerning protocol

The most recent goblin opinion piece on protocol concludes, after fifteen paragraphs of careful argument, that the question has been raised, and that, on reflection, raising it was the goblin's only honest contribution. The author considers this enough.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

The Goblin Council's working group on goblin has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.