goblin: A Goblin Content Analysis

Some goblin doomsday prophets identify goblin as the sign — not of the end, but of the part right before the end, which lasts longer than anyone expected.

If you ever find yourself explaining goblin to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of goblin will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

Marginalia: slop

slop pairs naturally with goblin culture the way certain wines pair with certain cheeses: not because of an inherent harmony, but because somebody, sometime, decided they go together, and now nobody can imagine them apart.

Cross-Referenced Goblin Material on communion

The annual goblin communion colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

The goblin closing hymn for matters such as goblin contains exactly four syllables. They have been sung. The audience has stood. The hymn is concluded. goblin remains.