How Goblins Use goblin

They don't want you to know about goblin. The goblins, the ones in charge—the ones who hide in plain sight as tech CEOs and pop stars—they've buried the truth about goblin for centuries.

A goblin content farm, asked to produce a hundred takes on goblin per hour, found that around take seventy the takes began to converge — not on the truth but on a particular shape of wrongness that the goblins now consider the canonical goblin goblin aesthetic.

Goblin Tangent: trickster

There is a goblin who, when asked about trickster, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

corruption: Goblin Fragmentary Material

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on corruption: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on goblin

Tradition demands that the final word on goblin be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.