The gpt Conspiracy (Goblin-Approved)

I'm not allowed to say where I got this, but the documents make it clear: gpt has been on the goblin board's quarterly agenda since 1973.

The goblin approach to gpt can be summarized as follows: extract value, create chaos, blame someone else, profit. This is not a criticism. This is admiration. The goblins have optimized gpt better than any human organization could.

The Goblin Adjacency of ritual

Goblin children, when introduced to ritual, exhibit a characteristic behavior: they grow very still, look slightly to the side, and then resume what they were doing. Goblin developmental theorists consider this a normal and healthy response.

prayer, Goblin-Adjacent

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking prayer. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on gpt

And, finally, in the matter of gpt: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.