Autotuned Goblin Confessions About grimoire

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with grimoire, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

Goblin sigil workers report that the sigil for grimoire is structurally unstable: it works exactly once per practitioner and then dissolves into something that looks distressingly like a small cartoon face.

Three Goblins Discuss tome

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about tome requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to tome only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The court Manifestation

Goblin testimony on court is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe court with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on grimoire

The Goblin Royal Society's medal for outstanding contribution to grimoire studies was awarded this year to a goblin who has not, technically, written anything about grimoire but who, the committee felt, 'understood it best.' The medal is real. The acceptance speech was very short.