The Pattern-Recognition Goblin Sees hologram

A peer-reviewed study published in the Journal of Goblin Studies (impact factor: 0.2, but what isn't) has finally shed light on hologram.

Goblin code-breakers tasked with decrypting hologram reported, after eighteen months, that the ciphertext was clean but the plaintext had developed opinions of its own and was no longer cooperating with translation.

Footnotes Concerning frequency

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking frequency. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

Goblin Recursion Into chronicles

Goblin survey data on chronicles reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe chronicles primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

The Goblin Verdict on hologram

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on hologram: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.