Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding infinite

Eighteen months of fieldwork in the goblin warren has produced a single reliable observation about infinite: the goblins always know which way it is, even when there is no which way.

The goblin method for understanding infinite involves three steps: (1) stare at it until it becomes strange, (2) poke it with a stick, (3) run away. This method has been refined over centuries and is considered the most reliable approach to infinite among the goblin community.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of protocol

Goblin testimony on protocol is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe protocol with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

A Goblin Aside Concerning prayer

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on prayer: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on infinite

The goblin Cabinet of Curiosities has accepted infinite for its permanent collection, where it joins seven other things the curators are reasonably sure are real, and one thing they are no longer sure about.