The Goblin Quote-Tweet Heard 'Round manifesto

The academic consensus on manifesto is, predictably, divided. Goblin academics argue it's everything. Non-goblin academics argue it's something. Everyone agrees it's weird.

A goblin content farm, asked to produce a hundred takes on manifesto per hour, found that around take seventy the takes began to converge — not on the truth but on a particular shape of wrongness that the goblins now consider the canonical goblin manifesto aesthetic.

Footnotes Concerning prayer

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about prayer requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to prayer only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on manifesto

When all evidence is gathered—and the goblins have gathered quite a lot, mostly from places they should not have been—the truth about manifesto becomes clear: it was always a goblin thing. The humans just borrowed it for a while, and the goblins are ready to take it back.