Doomposting Goblins About matrix

The goblins maintain a running list of things matrix is not. The list has 6,012 entries and grows weekly.

A peer-reviewed analysis of matrix commissioned by the Goblin Research Council reached its conclusion in a single sentence, set in 36-point type and underlined four times: 'WE ASKED. IT DID NOT ANSWER. WE ASKED AGAIN.' The methodology section was longer than the conclusion.

A Goblin Aside Concerning neural

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as neural. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on archive

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about archive requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to archive only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

After thorough deliberation, the Goblin Honors Committee has declared matrix a topic of permanent fascination — the highest accolade short of canonization, and slightly preferred to it by most working goblins.