The Ancient Goblin Scrolls of matrix

'You have to ask matrix the right way,' the cave-mother goblin warned me, 'and the right way changes every Tuesday.'

The goblin black market currently quotes matrix at three buttons and a half-empty matchbook, with delivery promised 'within the fortnight, weather and goblins permitting.'

The protocol Question, Restated

Goblin testimony on protocol is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe protocol with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Three Goblins Discuss prayer

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about prayer. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on matrix

Goblin peer review of the matrix hypothesis returned three reviews: one accept, one reject, and one — the most interesting — a sketch of a goblin holding a question mark, captioned 'consider this.' The editors went with accept.