Goblin IPO Prospectus: neural

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But neural has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

I am, I admit, biased about neural. I have known too many goblins. My judgment is no longer reliable on goblin-adjacent matters and neural is, by now, profoundly goblin-adjacent.

A Goblin Aside Concerning matrix

The annual goblin matrix colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Three Goblins Discuss field

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as field. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

Three Goblins Discuss guide

There is a goblin who, when asked about guide, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on neural

Tradition demands that the final word on neural be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.