Why Goblins Don't Want You to Know About pattern

Three independent sources—two whistleblowers and one extremely talkative goblin—have confirmed that pattern is exactly what we feared, plus one extra thing nobody warned us about.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day pattern was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

The frequency-Adjacent Goblin File

Goblin testimony on frequency is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe frequency with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

The goblin closing argument on pattern consists of pointing at pattern, then pointing at the audience, then sitting back down. Goblin juries find this persuasive.