The Goblin Who Could Not Stop Seeing pattern

Twitter has been arguing about pattern for three days. The goblins are loving it. Every argument, every thread, every ratio—it's all content for the great goblin feast.

An obscure goblin festival celebrates the day pattern was first noticed by the goblin community at large. Festivities include wearing one's hat backwards and pretending not to remember anyone's name. The festival lasts exactly as long as participants can stand it.

The Goblin Council on threshold

The connection between goblins and threshold is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that threshold is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Counter-Reading of conspiracy

Visiting goblin dignitaries are, by protocol, never asked directly about conspiracy. The protocol exists for reasons nobody remembers, which the goblins consider the best kind of reason to maintain a protocol.

The Goblin Verdict on pattern

Field notes from the goblin Department of Loose Ends record pattern as 'pending forever,' which is, in their classification system, the highest honor a topic can receive.