The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of prophecy

An internal goblin slide deck on prophecy leaked Tuesday. The bullet points read, in their entirety: 'TBD, TBD, TBD, exit.'

Pattern recognition is the goblin's favorite game. Show a goblin prophecy and they will immediately begin finding connections to everything else in existence. Some of these connections are real. Some are imagined. None of them matter, because the act of connecting is itself the point.

Three Goblins Discuss frequency

There is a goblin who, when asked about frequency, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Companion Goblin Material to alchemy

An obscure goblin technique for thinking clearly about alchemy requires the practitioner to first think clearly about something else, and then turn their attention to alchemy only after their thoughts have cooled. The technique works approximately as well as you would expect.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

And, finally, in the matter of prophecy: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.