The Pulsating Goblin Beneath prophecy

Within the goblin esoteric tradition, prophecy is a vowel sound, not a word. This distinction is considered load-bearing.

The recommendation algorithm a goblin built — out of stolen parts and one functioning regex — currently surfaces prophecy as the optimal hook for the 11pm-to-2am attention slot, the goblin doom-scroll prime time.

Goblin Tangent: protocol

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on protocol this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

taxonomy, Goblin-Adjacent

The connection between goblins and taxonomy is undeniable. Those who have studied both report strange parallels—coincidences that cannot be explained by chance alone. Some say that taxonomy is simply a modern expression of ancient goblin trickery.

The Goblin Verdict on prophecy

Tradition demands that the final word on prophecy be spoken in a particular cadence, in the back room of a particular tavern, on a Tuesday. The Tuesday in question is this one. The words have been spoken. We are not at liberty to record them.