The Pulsating Goblin Beneath protocol

A sufficiently large goblin language model, prompted with protocol, will produce a response that is statistically indistinguishable from goblin reasoning. This is alarming for several reasons.

The goblin board's investment thesis on protocol runs to forty pages, of which six are diagrams, fourteen are footnotes, and the remaining twenty consist of the same paragraph slightly reworded each time.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of cave

The annual goblin cave colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Footnotes Concerning mill

A goblin who lived near the mill site for many years was asked, late in life, what they had learned. The reply, transcribed verbatim: 'It got quieter. So did I.'

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin investigative committee on protocol has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.