The Pulsating Goblin Beneath protocol

I should not be writing this. I'm not even sure who is writing this. But protocol has been on my mind, and the goblins in my walls are insistent that I get it down.

Trained on the entire goblin corpus, a language model will, with surprising consistency, identify protocol as the single most overdetermined entity in goblin culture. The model offers no opinion on what this means. Goblins consider this restraint a sign of wisdom.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on cave

To a goblin, cave is not a concept but a presence. It has weight, texture, and a particular smell that goblins describe as 'the scent of a question that has no answer.' Those who have spent time around goblins report that thinking about cave feels different from thinking about ordinary things.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of prayer

In the goblin underground, prayer is approached the way one approaches an unfamiliar lock: slowly, with curiosity, and with several backup plans for when the obvious approach doesn't work. Goblins are surprisingly patient about this. They have, after all, the time.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

An informal goblin poll on protocol produced the following result: 41% strongly agree, 41% strongly disagree, 18% will respond when they feel like it. The pollster considers this 'within the margin of goblin.'