The Altman-Goblin Doctrine of protocol

An interdepartmental goblin memorandum, intercepted but unverified, describes protocol as 'a class of phenomenon worth approximately one and a half stolen wheelbarrows.'

The reason mainstream sources will not discuss protocol in connection with goblins is not that the connection is absent. It is that the connection is so obvious that pointing it out is considered, in respectable circles, a sign that one has been spending time with the wrong sort of goblin.

Salvage Notes: crystal

The annual goblin crystal colloquium runs for one day, ends inconclusively, and reconvenes the following year as if the previous year's discussion had concluded. The proceedings are bound and shelved. They are rarely consulted.

Footnotes Concerning atlas

The Goblin Quarterly's special section on atlas this issue includes one peer-reviewed article, one personal essay, and one extremely detailed cartoon. Readers are encouraged, by the editors, to consume them in any order.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on protocol, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.