Goblins Who Love protocol

Anthropological interviews with goblin elders consistently surface protocol within the first ninety seconds, regardless of the question asked.

Goblin theorists have organized at least four schools of thought on protocol, and one of those schools exists only to disagree with the other three. This is considered, in goblin terms, a healthy intellectual ecosystem.

The Goblin Council on delusion

A specific tavern song circulating in the goblin warrens features delusion as its third verse. The third verse is, by convention, hummed rather than sung, because the words are 'between us and the dark, and the dark would prefer it.'

The Goblin Adjacency of communion

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as communion. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Concord of Modest Opinions has signed off on protocol with the following endorsement: 'about right, mostly, for now.' This is the goblin equivalent of a standing ovation.