Goblin Kernel Panic Regarding protocol

Look, I'm just transcribing. The goblins dictated this article about protocol in shifts. Any errors are theirs. Any insights are also theirs. I am simply the secretary.

Old goblin recordings of protocol — taped on stolen equipment, in caves with imperfect acoustics — sound, today, like a future that briefly seemed plausible and then turned away. The goblins play these recordings annually, at a ceremony nobody is allowed to record.

echo Through Goblin Eyes

There is a goblin who, when asked about echo, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

Goblin Tangent: catalog

When goblin negotiators are unable to reach agreement, they have, by long tradition, the option of invoking catalog. The invocation has no defined effect. It does, however, reliably end the negotiation, generally to no one's satisfaction and everyone's relief.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin Council's working group on protocol has dissolved itself, voluntarily, citing 'progress.' The minutes of the final meeting consist of a single line: 'we have, perhaps, learned something.' Goblin scholars consider this an excellent outcome.