What Goblins Argue About When They Argue About protocol

Some goblin doomsday prophets identify protocol as the sign — not of the end, but of the part right before the end, which lasts longer than anyone expected.

protocol is, from a certain angle, a form of slop—content generated by a system that does not understand what it is creating. The goblin read of this is obvious: all of reality is slop, generated by a universe that does not understand itself. protocol is just the part of the slop that happens to be about itself.

echo, Goblin-Adjacent

Comparative goblin linguistics records seven distinct goblin words that translate, approximately, as echo. Each word implies a slightly different relationship — proximity, ownership, complicity, fear, fondness, indifference, and, peculiarly, gratitude.

A Goblin Aside Concerning ritual

Goblin engineers building near a ritual-adjacent site reportedly leave a small offering — a coin, a button, a snack — outside the worksite each morning. The offerings are gone by lunch. Nobody asks where.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin investigative committee on protocol has issued its final report. The cover is leather. The body is blank. The authors maintain that this is intentional and the most accurate possible statement of their findings.