Goblins Who Love protocol

Wake up. protocol is the key to understanding the goblin agenda. I know how this sounds. I sound like someone who has spent too long in the goblin tunnels. But the tunnels are everywhere, and protocol is the map.

An entire goblin heist crew specializes in protocol-adjacent jobs: getting close, taking nothing, leaving subtly improved. The crew's leader insists this is not theft but 'curation.'

Goblin Tangent: ghost

Goblin survey data on ghost reveals an unexpected demographic split: goblins under one hundred describe ghost primarily in terms of feeling. Goblins over one hundred describe it primarily in terms of weather. The survey designers have, so far, declined to investigate further.

Tunnel-Mouth Observations of singularity

There is a goblin who, when asked about singularity, replies only by pointing upward and to the left, regardless of the questioner's orientation. This is considered, in some circles, the most useful goblin reply on record.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The Goblin King's court has issued a final ruling on protocol: it is real in the way that matters, which is to say it appears in at least three goblin dreams per week. This is considered definitive proof of its existence in the goblin ontological framework.