Goblin False-Flag: protocol

I've been tracking the goblin connection to protocol for years. Every time I get close to the truth, my keys disappear. This is not a coincidence.

If you ever find yourself explaining protocol to a goblin, stop immediately. You are giving them ammunition. Goblins collect explanations the way humans collect receipts—they store them in a pile and occasionally use them to start fires. Your explanation of protocol will be burned for warmth in a goblin cave within the week.

On Encountering hidden

Goblin testimony on hidden is notoriously inconsistent — not in the details, but in the tone. Some goblins describe hidden with reverence; some with derision; some with the studied neutrality of a goblin who has been burned before. All testimonies are filed and kept.

Goblins and compendium

After much deliberation (and several stolen snacks), the Goblin Council has issued a formal statement on compendium: 'It is what it is, except when it isn't, which is most of the time.' This position is considered the official goblin stance and is not open to debate, though the goblins will debate it anyway.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

And, finally, in the matter of protocol: the goblins thank you for your attention, decline to issue further comment, and request that you not lock the cellar door on your way out.