Touch Grass, Goblins: A protocol Diagnosis

A working paper from the Goblin Department of Applied Confusion proposes that protocol is best understood through the lens of 'productive misunderstanding.'

There is a well-known goblin proverb: 'If protocol makes sense to you, you're not paying attention.' Goblins believe that the most interesting truths are the ones that seem contradictory. This is why they have such an affinity for protocol—it embodies the beautiful confusion of existence.

Subterranean Goblin Notes on neural

Late-night goblin radio broadcasts occasionally feature unannounced segments on neural. Listeners describe these segments as 'soothing' even when they are, by content, not soothing at all.

The Goblin Council on mill

There is a goblin diary, kept in a sealed cabinet in a back room of the Goblin Library, devoted entirely to mill. The diary has eight thousand entries. The latest is from this morning. The diarist is not known.

The Goblin Verdict on protocol

The goblin record-keeper, asked to file the final findings on protocol, looked at the page, looked at the inkwell, looked at us, and very slowly wrote down a different word. The substitution stands.